I want to thank my friend for reaching out to me and talking with me. I was a mess this morning, but after our talk, I feel a million times better and I really appreciate that he took the time to come and speak with me. I also want to apologize to another friend who wanted to talk to me via PM, but I just wasn't able to do so.
That said, the morning conversation did me good. Without getting too much into detail, it made me think that maybe I'm not really such a fool to believe in people. Most people are good at heart, but no one is perfect. We all get angry. We all say things to make a point. And sometimes we say things to hurt others on purpose. In essence, we all fight mini-wars from time to time. Sometimes they are small ones where we refuse to talk to each other and ignore them completely. Other times, they are all out battles that last for years.
I am reminded of a time when I myself was engaged in my own mini-war. It was many years ago and it was the all out battle kind of mini-war that at times got was pretty bad. There were two different sides and both fought with everything we had. I was on one side and a woman named Shelly was on the other. Yelling and screaming, both in person and on public forums were commonplace. I had zero respect for her and she had the same amount for me. At one point, it got so bad that when my youngest daughter was brought into it by the other side, (she was two at the time), I knew that there was no way I was letting go of my anger.
And then something happened.
A set of keys were lost.
It was just a little thing, but to this day, I believe it was the hand of God.
We were all at a meeting and Shelly was there with her best friend, Debbie. After the meeting was over, Debbie went to get into her car and had found out that she lost her keys. As I was one of the last people out of the meeting, I noticed they were frantically looking for these keys and asked if they needed help. I don't know why I asked that, but I did.
After hearing their plight, I did the only thing I could think of doing, I offered Debbie a ride.
I didn't think she'd accept given our history, but she did and in my car she went. I mentally prepared myself for a very awkward experience and started to drive off. Just as we were about to leave the parking lot, Shelly found Debbie's keys and flagged us down.
I didn't think anything more of it until the next day, when Shelly called me to thank me for offering Debbie a ride. We talked a long time and buried a lot of hatchets. It turned out that a lot of things that were said, were misunderstandings, while others were just stuff that should be forgotten because they were said and done in attempts to hurt each other. I won't say we ever became best friends in the end, because we weren't, but we managed to get along to the point, that we could actually have conversations whenever we saw each other.
Shelly passed away a few years later and I was surprised when I was asked to speak at her service. It was a strange feeling because we had a strange relationship, but I left that day knowing that we made an effort to make things right and we did the best we could.
I never realized how much our fighting must have caused distress for our friends. I know that personally, I can be over-emotional. (Unfortunately that's the price you pay for knowing me).
I'm not perfect and I've been known to argue, just ask my husband, but for some reason, it seems so much worse when my friends argue. I get really stressed and upset.
My conversation this morning brought me clarity, a LOT of stress relief and a renewed desire to pray for peace between the two groups. It may or may not come, but I also know with God, anything is possible.
So ... if someone's keys go missing ...
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