I received an e-mail from a friend yesterday afternoon in which she told me about a conversation she had with someone. In the conversation, she alluded to posts made in the "Bullied over a Jersey" blog post I made earlier, as being made by savages.
The conversation was apparently private, but it turns out that her comments were made public and now the group who were going after the guy wearing the wrong jersey, now has a new rallying cry - that of the word "savage."
I have my own words to rally behind.
Words like: Stupid. Naive. Idiot. And no, those words aren't directed at anyone involved in this argument. Instead they are directed at me, myself and I.
I've been wrong on many fronts, and I see now that my belief system needs a major overhaul.
While I still believe there was a lot of bullying going on (it's not hard to see based on the comments made on the Facebook wall), hope was given to me in the form of apologies and assurances to talk things out. I honestly believed that things were going to get better and I went to bed feeling so grateful that I had people in my life willing to work things out.
Then I received that e-mail and it was like a kick in the teeth. I began seeing more comments, but this time I knew they were directed towards her and I grew incredibly sad.
It was naive of me to think that things would change. The biggest lesson I've learned in all of this is that if people really want to fight, they'll do it no matter what and they'll use whatever excuse they can to keep the fires of anger burning brightly.
A lot of stuff has gone on between these two groups and as one person said, it's been going on for five years. FIVE years? There have been actual wars that didn't last as long as that.
This is all a big joke to everyone, but it's not to me. I'm deeply affected by the amount of anger and verbal abuse that's been going on and I don't know what to do about it. I wish there was a way that I could bring peace, but I don't have that kind of power and the people who do have the power to bring about peace, just aren't interested.
This argument can be stopped, but the people involved have to want it to stop. Someone has to say, "Okay, that's enough."
But no one wants to.
The hardest part for me is that I know these people and most of them I care about deeply. If I didn't, I wouldn't be so upset right now. I was talking to someone last night at the hockey game about how badly I was feeling and the tears just started welling up. How stupid is that? I felt foolish and stupid and naive for believing that people really wanted to make things better and eventually, I had to tell her that I couldn't talk to her anymore about it because it was too upsetting.
I wish I didn't care so much about these people, but I do. I can't help it and it really hurts to see this all garbage happening and no one wanting it to stop.
I am praying really, REALLY hard that this all ends somehow. That someone, anyone has the courage to make the fighting stop.
So I make this prayer out to my Lord God and Savior... Lord please. I really, really love these people. Please remove the anger from their hearts and give them the courage to stop the fighting and let it go once and for all. Please. Amen.
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