In today's society, bullying is a hot topic, particularly in the school
yards. My question then is: can bullying happen to adults?
According to Wikipedia:
Bullying is a form of aggressive behavior
manifested by the use of force or coercion to affect others,
particularly when the behavior is habitual and involves an imbalance of
power. It can include verbal harassment, physical assault or coercion and may be directed repeatedly towards particular victims, perhaps on grounds of race, religion, gender, sexuality, or ability.[2][3]
The "imbalance of power" may be social power and/or physical power. The
victim of bullying is sometimes referred to as a "target".
Bullying consists of three basic types of abuse – emotional, verbal, and physical. It typically involves subtle methods of coercion such as intimidation. Bullying can be defined in many different ways. The UK currently has no legal definition of bullying,[4] while some U.S. states have laws against it.[5]
Bullying ranges from simple one-on-one bullying to more complex
bullying in which the bully may have one or more 'lieutenants' who may
seem to be willing to assist the primary bully in his bullying
activities. Bullying in school and the workplace is also referred to as
peer abuse.[6] Robert W. Fuller has analyzed bullying in the context of rankism.
Bullying can occur in any context in which human beings interact with each other. This includes school, church, family, the workplace, home, and neighborhoods. It is even a common push factor in migration. Bullying can exist between social groups, social classes, and even between countries (see jingoism).
In fact, on an international scale, perceived or real imbalances of
power between nations, in both economic systems and in treaty systems,
are often cited as some of the primary causes of both World War I and
World War II.
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A friend of mine has been going through, (according to Wikipedia), a classic case of bullying. He has tickets to the Florida Panthers, but is also a fan of another team and as such, will wear that team's jersey. The claim by some is that this all started because of a letter he had written, but in actuality, he had been verbally chastised often on message boards and in person prior to that because of the jersey.
The following was posted on my friend's Facebook page. I did not see it personally, but it was sent to me. I was shocked and surprised. I've omitted all the names of the posters.
"I tell you what. Your a season ticket holder of the Panthers. Man up and wear a Panthers jersey in the TB arena. You're a puss!"
5 people liked the above comment on Facebook
"Pathetic... Just absolutely pathetic."
1 person liked the above comment on Facebook
"Also, I know my first Your should be You're, but I go out of my way to treat you with respect for the last few years but if you don't have the balls to stand up and be a man regardless of the venue then you deserve the abuse directed your way."
1 person liked the above comment on Facebook
"There ya go little bitch. Now you can leave the arena in your RW jersey cheering for TB. Douche."
2 people liked the above comment on Facebook
"I wonder who this is about. :)"
No likes on Facebook
"How about those Oilers :)"
No likes on Facebook
"This has to be my useless nemesis (Initials Omitted), aka Super Jew."
2 people liked the above comment on Facebook
"Pukeass piece of crap!!!"
Unknown likes on Facebook
"If wearing a Panthers jersey means that I condone this kind kind of behavior from anyone who positively responded to this post then, I have a number of Jerseys that will never be worn again! As a season ticket holder for many years and a friend of most of you, I'm ashamed to be associated with this behavior."
Unknown likes on Facebook
"This is a loooong standing issues with this person.....not a new issue...... (Name omitted) no one here questions your allegiances. this person however has more than once attempted to sabotage the tailgates. And has generally pissed us off for around 5 years....
You do not have to condone it, but for those of us who have been the target of this persons "subversive actions" we don't have to condone "his behavior" either...."
Unknown likes on Facebook
"Someone here OBVIOUSLY has no clue as to whom we are referring to or the transgressions carried out by said jag-off.
This guy is a pathetic excuse for a human being that while dishing it out, goes crying to anyone who'll listen and proclaim himself the victim.
Like I told him once before, man-up, wash the sand out of your vagina and then MAYBE you'll be taken seriously."
Unknown likes on Facebook
"***EDIT*** ...proclaim himself the victim after someone gives it back to him"
Unknown likes on Facebook
"All good and all opinions welcome. That's what makes this country great. Without the back story this whole thread could be confusing. Those who know the story understand. If you know the story and disagree you also have that right. Either way I don't give a rats ass. ;)"
Unknown likes on Facebook
"LOL"
I find it very interesting that only ONE person stood up and said the behavior was wrong, and he was pretty much shot down because he didn't know the back story.
Now, before anyone tells me I don't know the back story, I do, and quite frankly, I don't want to hear that this is about tailgating, because it isn't. I know that the verbal attacks have gone on much longer than any letter sent about tailgating, and I know that they were because he dared to wear a jersey that was not a Panthers jersey.
Let me just reiterate this. ALL of this started because someone decided a guy was wearing the wrong JERSEY.
Who cares??? Why is this anyone's business? Don't we all have better things to do then be the fashion police? It's not like he's wearing a Nazi uniform or a Ku Klux Klan robe. This is a hockey game and people are using it as an excuse to turn into a mob and verbally abuse another person.
I can't seem to wrap my mind around this because, not too long ago, I saw
a video of a bunch of Flyers fans beating up a Rangers fan. Is that
what we should expect next? I can hear all the naysayers now: "That would
never happen, we would never go that far, and you know us better
than that." Do I really know you all better than that? I thought for
sure I knew that you would never go after someone with the mob mentality
that you've displayed here.
So why am I writing about this? Because with the exception of one person, I know every single person involved - those who made the comments, the person to whom the comments are directed and the people who liked various posts.
It made me sad to know that these people, people I consider friends, would behave like a bunch of schoolyard bullies. If anyone were to say things like this to one of their children or family members or best friend, they'd be all up in arms. But for some reason, it's okay here.
Why is it okay? I don't understand -- Is it because he tried to fight back with a letter after dealing with constant abuse in person and on message boards because of his jersey?
It's one thing to dislike the other team's fans, boo them in your arena, enjoy it when they are booted out for being jerks, etc and so forth. It's quite another when you decide to get personal and downright dirty, and that was what was going on FAR before any letter was sent.
The letter was retaliation in my opinion. Was it the right thing to do? I don't know, but I do know what it's like to be treated the way he was, to be bullied in that manner and, quite frankly, I understand why he sent the letter, and I honestly can't say that if I were being treated as badly that I too wouldn't try to lash out.
Ask yourself: If your child was wearing the wrong shirt to school and a bunch of kids went after her/him the way these individuals went after their target every chance they got, would you think it's okay then? Would you understand if your child sent a letter to the principal in an effort to get some sort of justice? You can say that you wouldn't understand, but I wouldn't believe you.
You know, I follow other teams, and I follow other players. Is that also terrible, or is it okay because I wear my Panthers jersey? I also have friends from teams all over the league including the Bolts, Flyers, Rangers, Devils, etc and so forth. Again, is it okay simply because I'm wearing a Panthers jersey? If I took it off, or heaven forbid, put on another jersey? Would I then be subject to ridicule even though I've been a Panthers fan for a long time? What if I rooted for Chicago in the playoffs, or -- and here's a tough one -- the Canadiens? Would I be attacked then?
I hear a lot of people bashing the Canadians around me, and for some reason, they have no problem doing that, even though they know that my husband and both my children are Canadian (not to mention a good portion of the Florida Panthers as well). Still, I say nothing and chalk it up to ignorance, but maybe that's something that I'm doing wrong. Maybe my desire to "keep the peace" encourages it.
Well, I'm not interested in keeping the peace here. I'm tired of the high school bullying that I've been seeing. It's petty and I don't like it.
If you are one of the people who have been harassing this person and you honestly feel you've done nothing wrong here, then I respectfully ask that you un-friend me on Facebook. I'd rather have fewer friends with higher convictions than a lot of friends that think it's okay to attack someone over and over and over again using the excuse that it's about the tailgating when, really, it started because someone was wearing the "wrong" jersey.
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