If at first you don't succeed ...

Skydiving is not for you.

I read that this morning and had to laugh, because I've tried so many times to succeed at so many things and have given up shortly thereafter. All those things were my attempts at "skydiving."

Running is different. After years of trying, I am still trying to succeed in that area. I want so much to be a runner, to get the sheer joy of crossing the finish line, to wear a medal that signifies that I actually completed something, to feel accomplished.

Many years ago, when I first started, I did well and I received medals for various 5K events. I wanted to do more and more. And then I got my first injury. Glass in my foot. It was pretty deep and did a bit of damage.

Shortly after that, messed up ankles.

Then of course, I've had broken toes.

My most recent has been the hip about two months ago.

When I get injured, I tend to shelve running for months at a time and then have to start all over again. The hip injury has been no different, but in a way, it's the worst injury of all.

I'm a few weeks away from the first 1/2 marathon that I was to participate in and I can't even go because of the injury and am no where near back to being able to run more than one mile, let alone 13.1.

It hurts, it makes me angry, and frustrated, and miserable. All that hard work and it feels like it was wasted. I don't really know many people who understand how I feel about missing this race. I've already cried my tears, thrown my shoes and wanted to quit completely because of it.

Still, I know that running is not my "skydiving."

Today, I finished my run workout. Like Friday, I felt the twinges, but no real pain. The fear was a little less and I was able to start my run without too much procrastination (although there was some).

I will keep trying again, and again, and again.

Because one day, my chute will open.

One day I will cross the finish line and get my 1/2 marathon medal.

One day.